PersPectivEs: a stroll in life

9^th May 2004

With zuzana, my former Slovak team mate in KL J

On the move Handrails in the Mass Rail Transit on the quiet hours of a Sunday morning in Singapore

<< Prologue – Thunderstorms of change brewing

It’s an interesting situation that we cannot predict what the future holds for us & it rings eerily true a week ago when you were sharing my thoughts.

Another thing that comes along is change … an element so necessary & yet, not always welcome in the face of settled times. Ah, the lull before the storm … that was back then

I will get to that later but let me share some nicer thoughts which I brewed over on this lazy weekend afternoon … and also check out my thoughts online

Technocrat a view of the Esplanade, a prominent view & often used as representation of Singapore

Who is a true Malaysian? >>

A decade ago, this question would have easily been dismissed as an idiosyncratic rhetoric in my days of high school & ignorant bliss … but today, this is a subject I have crossed path so many times, that I have been compelled to question myself, time after time … it matters very much to me today than then, because it does prick my angst if I was wrongly mislabelled a Singaporean, Thai or Indonesian.

Soooo … what does it really mean to be Malaysian? Who can be truly & really deemed Malaysian? Is it because you have a Malaysian passport? Is it because you lived on laksa, curry, rice & other delicacies as your daily staple? Or is it just simply you have been here all your life & known nothing else but being one?

I cannot automatically class any Tan, Nik or Samy as truly Malaysian if they lived in Malaysia all their life … it’s not because they are not, but how would really know the feeling of being one? Do they have the real satisfaction that they would be here rather than anywhere else in the world? My point is, what if they were given a 2^nd chance to taste life in the blizzards of Siberia or the blazing heat of the Sahara? Who knows they might find their bliss there? In no means of accusing them a not, but more of wondering if they have chosen otherwise in optional perspective? Did they choose to be Malaysians?

A wise friend I met in Slovakia had a very interesting anecdote ... you do not really understand your country until you have seen it from the eyes of a foreigner … and it very much applies to me & a bunch of friends who have lived a part of their lives abroad. Can we relate ourselves effectively to others if we do not know how they see things or what they look for? For example, A European versus an American look for different things when they observe a Malaysian eating … so there in lies the beholder of beauty.

And so what if you have a Malaysian passport? That also does not make you Malaysian … if you have spent your whole life everywhere but Malaysia. I have a friend here in Singapore, she is Malaysian, but she studied here all her life, all her friends are Singaporeans, she works here & does not know a single bit of Malay or what it means to be Malaysian (other than the fact that Malaysians are treated as 2^nd class citizens in Singapore). Inverse to the former, this is ironically where you see Malaysians from everywhere but within.

And lastly, I think that to be Malaysian, is very much like a relationship & that means for better or for worse, we live & thrive on it. In my past 4 years, I have met diverse walks that seek internationalism, not for a journey, but as a destination … just as a jet to set forever from their homeland. Yes, I sip to the taste of Bordeaux wine; I yearn for the melting snow upon my cheeks, nothing beats Slovak beer … but I still am Malaysian.

It’s not paradise, it’s not hell either … it’s home. I accept this fact with all my heart, J

>> Homeless

I usually leave home for work around 6am … which is why I easily clock 12 hours at work each day … so what happened on Monday was my landlady gave a big shock in the morning by kicking me out with a 1 month notice …

For people who know me, I am a grouchy & slow starter in the morning, so it took a while for me to understand the point & it was not accepted in the best way … so in some sort, it soured Monday mornings which were my favourite days. The situation would have been easier to accept IF I had 3-4 months of my traineeship left but I have only 2 months & she was not compromising to let me finish off those 2 months.

Bottom-line … either I find another place OR I try to get a place to hang around for my remaining 1 month … but the situation is quite hard to find a place for a month … so after a week of haggling around, I had 2 options but they were poor in travel time & cost …

Come Friday, I thought things were as easy as … my dear boss, I could not find a solution, so could you be humanitarian enough to release me 1 month earlier from this traineeship? But bosses have also their own aces in their sleeves … he counter offered a possibility of extra pay in that month, but I had to hang on for the weekend & know by Monday … so, well well …. This weekend was spent waiting …. Waiting for the answer

This was a hard news, but I would love to believe everything happens for a reason … so I am looking forward to see what reason it will turn to be. Meanwhile, thank you to all of you who helped concern about this … it really helped me get through the week J

Quotes of the week <<<

As I recount my saga of becoming homeless … here are some cute reactions of concern …

You are homeless? Where are you sleeping now? In the streets?

You are homeless? Did your house get burned down?

Something happened to you? What? It’s shocking? Ok, it must be you have a girlfriend finally

Picture by Clarke quay, a popular tourist & expatriate hang out area

You are homeless? Ok, then you are not my friend … I cannot bunk in with you in my next trip to Singapore

You are homeless? Here, have an apple

You are homeless? Never mind, just work longer & you can have the office as your home

And finally …

You are homeless? You fully deserve it … who asked you not to get a girlfriend? Then at least you can bunk in with her

OUCH!

Last week’s chapter has closed & I open a new account today

It was challenging, it was depressing, and it surely was lonely at points

No one can guarantee better times; it’s unpredictable but not necessarily dark

If I fall further … it certain I have loving arms reaching out to me …

If I close further … there will be open hearts to unlock my captivity …

And lastly, I hope for courage to face the week … not only to lift myself but people who need it.

Nothing is impossible as long as I keep the faith … and believe we have the power to change.

We all have, from the moment we were born. Seize it

Carpe diem.

Take care,

Jay

Episode 1: If only, we could walk through the doors of time …

The amazing feeling & thought going through myself now is the subtle realization that my 1 year in Singapore will be over in 2 months from now …

It’s quite amazing because exactly a year ago, I went through the same feeling & it’s definitely yet another checkpoint of my life. A good question from my manager that echoes this sentiment was … am I satisfied? … did I learn anything useful? … did I change people? … did I myself change?

While I somehow know the answer to these questions …  it’s a sharp contrast from when I 1^st arrived to this republic … and it’s the same way I felt when going to Slovakia … it’s like still a long road to go … but somehow, time always have a unique way of showing us our errs.

I am thinking also what I have to do, what I have always wanted to do, but have not done within this 2 months remaining in Singapore … to do it … to capture it … while being still a ‘resident’ of this place. Practically, there’s no hurry since it’s proximate to Kuala Lumpur … so I guess I am the type who lives life for the moment & not for the future.

Back to the question … am I satisfied?

Yes, in many ways. I came to see Malaysia from the eyes of a supposed similar neighbour & in this time, the experience has greatly enriched my feeling for being a Malaysian … in short, not everyone is seduced by the higher living standard of Singapore … me being one of them.

I also came to ‘learn’ … rather develop a more ‘disciplined & proper’ work style by working with finance … than my former ‘cowboy’ style of just jumping on the horse & living life of the moment. For sure I am more detailed now & there’s more ‘steel’ in work … so, there’s a new dimension in me J

but as I always say, a lobster will never be a prawn … so I am about the answer the call of my true potential … going to sales or people development …

Another satisfaction of coming to Singapore is that it gave me a unique blend of role in helping others … I managed to play an active role in helping AIESEC in Singapore and also chapters in Malaysia … it’s also good that I lived up to my words & belief in ‘exchange’ concept by going for one myself … (there’s no integrity in myself if I do not walk my own talk) … in short (I also learnt to summarize my points), it’s a good feeling to leave my signature somewhere … someone …

Take care & enjoy the rest of my mailing … have a great week ahead!

Jay

Episode 2: Buzzing around & on the move …

Ø                  What’s up?

One of the changes I had (physically, besides getting fatter) … is my new growth of hair … so after 3 years of going on minimal hair … I went for a change of image … so check out my new ‘look’ …

and as the law of change (motion) dictates … there will always be some disagreements (friction) of the new look … so mixed reviews came in … apparently my colleagues were beaming & gloating that their recommendation made me more ‘handsome’ … ‘presentable’ … (whatever-la) & peers were not so receptive to it …  so anyway, it’s the perfect foil for upcoming job interviews … if my bosses like it, it can only mean good things J

Ø                  Alumni activity – charity auction

I have NEVER been to an auction before … so when the AIESEC Alumni Malaysia association organized a charity auction cum networking event … I went, as the ever supportive fan of the association … maybe just a little sceptic as I had no idea how the reception of it will be …

Anyway, with some warm up … the atmosphere turned out to be very good … & fun too … people were hotly bidding for items like laptops, branded clothes, shampoo … and novel stationery … and the auctioneer was really cool … just wondering how he could keep his voice after so much shouting …

For me, it was great to meet so many old faces I have not met since I departed for Slovakia …  and the only communication was online, therefore the change of medium was a welcome one J … and it was good fun to help link people up with one another … as I like to share my network from my AIESEC days J

Ø                  Workaholic redefined

I have always made jokes of my friend Jarod, whom in my ex-AIESEC team, is a symbol of ultimate workaholics … since he spends virtually most of his time working, even on weekends … but recently, I myself have clocked between 11-133 hours in an office daily … somehow after 4 months, I picked up the habit of waking & working early … at the office from 630am until 630pm … and just on Friday, from 630am to 730pm

If you were my ex-Slovak team mate, this is of course not surprising, and of course a walk in the park is not my cup of tea; working whets my appetite. But looking on the whole, it’s a trap kind of thing, there will ALWAYS be a lot of work … and people like myself heroically create extra work for myself …

But it’s not all work, luckily it’s only 5 days I toil, sweat & burn for HP, weekends are off limits … time for travel, family & myself J

Ø                  Shutter-bug

One of the things I am doing now is taking a lot of photos … & I spent this weekend walking around some of my favourite places in Singapore, just taking pictures of scenery which I always wanted to take, like the Raffles city centre, Esplanade, One Fullerton, Orchard … so I hope to share some with you soon J

Ø                  Lord of the Rings exhibition

As Singapore is the only destination of this exhibition’s world tour, it was something not to be missed, so I quickly went for my own tour as incidentally was at the National Science Centre (which I have not been to yet) … and though I did read a lot about LOTR, the entire thing was well worth it’s charge … it provides a wonderful visual insight into the production of the trilogy … all the way from scripting, filming & costumes.

It’s very hands on … & since it will be here in Singapore until June, if any of you are a fan, it’s definitely worth a weekend trip from KL just to be part of the experience J

Movie Watch

Ø Turn left, turn right (Cantonese)

This is definitely the right movie for love junkies like myself … and it’s a very ‘scary’ & thoughtful way of portraying fate … it’s about 2 people who have passed each other millions of times in their lifetime, yet, they only crossed paths twice, only for fate to stop them from ever meeting again … even Cupids had a hard time matching them together … so junkies like myself, grab a copy & watch it in your nice cosy sofa

Question is, have I been passing the love of my life a thousand times?

Ø Monster

This critically acclaimed movie by Charlize Theron does warrant credits because Charlize does scare the hell out of me with her performance & she did bloat up quite a lot to take the looks of a famed serial murderer … it does bring to mind how a confused person can be trapped as a society reject … a watch for people intrigued with the complexities of humankind … a bore for action-philes cause there’s a whole tub of talking … Jurassic Park it is not.

Ø Human stain

Another Nicole Kidman movie … & it’s a befitting title too. Another movie that explores the myriad of a mind … basically around a guy who courts controversy by toying with family, ancestral ties & societal norms; the word stain automatically lends the hint of a possible negative & lasting impressions … the rest is for you to find out. More interesting watch than Monster J

Ø Troy

Even dummies of history can be interested to watch another epic-styled story with the starry cast of Eric Bana, Brad Pitt etc. Will be interesting to watch the siege of Troy & how the Trojan horse looks like.

Ø Luther

If I am not mistaken, it should be about Martin Luther (not the American black activist) and the revolution of the church system

Ø Star wars

Ah … the final pre-logue … it’s the moment fans of the Star Wars wait for … the birth of Darth Vader J

Food for thought

Ø The Malaysian Journey – Progress in diversity by Frank Richter

A publication of the World Economic Forum … it’s a compilation of thoughts from cross sectorial leaders in & out of Malaysia. If you are in a position to be an ambassador or Malaysia or just want to know more, this book is a good place to start … giving you a good view of post independence Malaysia & a peek into the future.

Ø China exporter of inflation

It’s a top spread of The Economist / Fortune … so it’s good for all of us to see China not just as an opportunity but also, warily as a threat to global economy. There’s a big price to pay if we choose blindly to go the highway of Chinese economy.

Ø Foundations of a genius – Every child can be one

Quintessentially about how every child is rightfully born as genius & how we can create the right avenues to make one;

1-belief in the ability & support of the child

2-individual ability & strengths

3-opportunity to develop gift & talents

4-impose no limits

5-ability to focus

6-recognition & appreciation